A few days before the final decision that will have an impact on the next 6 months of my life, my mood is like a rollercoaster. I’ve been thinking everyday about this, and I was kind of taking for granted that my stay here would last forever – which it obviously won’t, at some point I’ll have to face vienna again.

I want to make a list of the things I haven’t seen or done yet, but it would probably be too long..so instead I’ll write about something that has little to do with norway but a lot to do with .. everything else.

When I lived in France, there was a boy called Alex. I hated him at first, because of a certain incident that took place in our first month in that new school; in any case, it took me so long to get to know him. It actually happened in the last months before I left that town, that country. I was in that school for three full years, and only in the last june week did we sit regularly at the same desk in biology class. It was during that week that, instead of listening to the teacher, he told me about Austria and that it was going to be OKAY.  And in the end, it was. I never told him and many times I considered calling him or writing him a letter and just thanking him for doing something he didn’t know he’d done.
A few years later, it’s april.. no, may, and I’m reminiscing as always – I look back a lot, not because things were better back then, I just hate forgetting – and I think of him. I couldn’t remember his last name, and that scared me. I could remember his face, though.
I had this urge of hearing his voice – seeing how much he’d changed – getting to know the new him. I guess sometimes we feel like stars part of a constellation – we can always trace our roots back to things, people that have changed us, and if those are important enough, once in a while we tend to hover back to them, out of curiosity or pride.
I was a few months late.
He had died that summer.
Life is a strange thing.. I guess this is my very own ode to never wanting to take things, people, situations, occasions,…for granted.
please don’t.

the sidewalks are watching me think about you.